icecreamstixz

#one hundred and forty-two

2011-01-17T19:57:00.000+08:00

By a thread we're hanging on, in the hope you don't let go. If you ever leave me, I wanna go with you.

i love every single thing about you

2010-12-29T00:26:00.010+08:00

Two months has passed and I've got to admit that it was nice knowing such a person like you. Someone who can make me smile, laugh and cry at the same time. But deep inside I know I will never regret loving you. From a stranger to a lover. I found myself falling for you deeper and deeper each and every single day until now.

One thing for sure is that it won't be easy for me to let go of someone like you. Someone who has always be there for me, someone who I can rely on and most importantly someone who never leaves me behind. I just want you to know that I will never forget the love you gave. I enjoyed every single moment spent with you. It was unforgettable. I will always remember it.

Its been hard on us. We fought, you got mad, I got sad, and its hard for me to console you so I gave up. I tried. Tried my very best and it feels kinda sucky cause I really suck at that. I really wish I could make you feel better. I'm just no good at that. I wish I can make you happy. :(

With just a look at you, I feel better, I feel relieved. I have no idea how you did that but what I wanna say is that I want no fights, no grudges, simply just forgive and forget. I just wanna be there for you, not gonna leave you and be by your side every single time when life hits hard on you. I'll give you all my support as much as I can just to be with you.

But things are different now. If only it never turn out this way, I won't have eyes that looked like I've been punched by someone, I wouldn't feel so helpless, like I feel so shitty about myself, I wouldn't feel miserable. Sigh. All I can hope for right now is that things will get better in time for us because I can't handle the pain I'm feeling now. Its so unbearable unlike the pain when I'm with you even though we fight. I really just wanna be with you. I love you Muhammad Haiqal Juniawan.

hugs and kisses,

xoxo

#one hundred and forty

2010-12-26T14:22:00.004+08:00

Baby I was stupid for telling you goodbye. Maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight. I know that I've got issues but you're pretty messed up too. Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you.

Argh. I'm seriously a mess.

#one hundred and thirty-nine

2010-06-22T01:24:00.003+08:00

I might lose my mind for a while, but I'll be fine. Have you heard there's this thing that heals, and it's called time.
Clock can tick away, happy will fall in place. And though my heart will break, a new me will fill the space.

#one hundred and thirty-eight

2010-06-13T01:50:00.006+08:00

I will never say never. I will fight till forever, make it right. Whenever you knock me down,

I will not stay on the ground. Pick it up and never say never. ♥

#one hundred and thirty-seven

2010-05-16T22:39:00.003+08:00

"Just finished webcam with farah (: Sorry if I've neglected you since school reopened ): I want things to get back like before."

- Winnie

I miss her :(

NR'S A BITCH. All three of us were sick and tired of it. Grr. And Nasyita has a sudden craving for an ice cream.

I miss everything about you. Can't believe that I still want you.

And after all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you.

#one hundred and thirty-six

2010-05-10T00:27:00.006+08:00

Just a pebble in the water, can set the sea in motion. A simple act of kindness, can stir the widest ocean. If we show a little love, heaven knows what we could change. So throw a pebble in the water. Make a wave, make a wave.

#one hundred and thirty-five

2010-04-24T14:34:00.001+08:00

I wanna talk to you D:

#one hundred and thirty-four

2010-04-22T22:10:00.001+08:00

Currently at my cousin house. Can't find anything to do at home, so here I am. :D

Before this, skipped lesson just to see mine plus other groups performing. Awww, dance4fun was great anyway. HS didn't win any prize but who cares as long as those freshmen had fun on the stage. The performance was considered amazing for a day rehearsal. It wasn't that bad actually. :D

So tomorrow. Can you believe that I actually have no school tomorrow? ♥ Hehehehehehe. Sadly, its only on Friday. BUT! (this is the worst part) On Monday till Thursday, school starts at 8 and ends at 6. Upsetting rightttt!!! Lecturers make the lecture bored. Grrr. And to tell the truth, I kinda miss the previous L01. Like seriously. Current L01 seems to be an irritant to me. Oops? My bad. =x

Have I ever mention school is hell?

Now we don't wanna fall but we're tripping in our hearts. And it's reckless and clumsy cause I know you can't love me here.

#one hundred and thirty-three

2010-04-11T22:43:00.003+08:00

Baby, you got a hold on me like gravity.
What's even worse than waking up at early in the morning to school on a Monday? Its a good start, don't you think so? Ha ha, hell no. In fact, I've been waking up early to attachment, tuition, work and etccc. Its tiring, very tiring. Okay lah, but usually I have to and I must wake up early in the morning just for a while but I'll return to my neverland soon after I'm done. But, the thought of going back to school just for Induction Day is like -___- *blank*and it feels like I'm starting school one week earlier than the rest. Huhu. Cause I'll be having camp on Tuesday till Friday. Its gonna be great right? Hopefully, it is. (Y)

#one hundred and thirty-two

2010-03-30T18:16:00.006+08:00

Kim Bum ♥
All 16 episodes are out!
(SHAFIKA! WATCH IT!)

It's like an angel came by and took me to heaven. Cause when I stare in your eyes, it couldn't be better.

#one hundred and thirty-one

2010-03-29T00:48:00.003+08:00

Aww, look at that. The hat, the pouch. She's ready to hit the beach. Hehh.

In every life, there's bound to be ups and downs, yesterday, today and tomorrow Obstacles keep getting in the way ever since then, one after another. No matter what comes in the way, be it good or bad, or how long it takes, there must be a way to get out of it. If there's a will, there's a way. God will always give us something that human beings are able to solve and handle them even at the lowest point. Have faith, make believe, overcome the hardships and things will get better and better. Cause everything happens for a reason.

Tomorrow is unpredictable for I'll pray and hope nothing will go wrong. Amin.

#one hundred and thirty

2010-03-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday Nasyita!

You just turned a year older and wiser! :D

Okay now get your license fast! Heh. Anyway, the celebration was an awesome one! So glad that the plan went well! And her pressies are like totally freaking amazing that words can't even describe it! Omg, I feel like taking them! Grr. Haha just kidding. Hope you like it ya! :D Love you, girl!

xoxo

#one hundred and twenty-nine

2010-03-14T01:57:00.003+08:00

1 more week. 1 more week. Can't wait. Heh.

EENIE MEENIE MINEY MO LOVA ♥

#one hundred and twenty-eight

2010-03-06T21:40:00.003+08:00

Today, I woke up early in the morning and rush to work. Tomorrow, Sunday, still the same, have to go for my clinical appointment which is at Hougang :( Such a busy weekend.

This seems to be my daily routine, to wake up early in the morning to get out of the house and get the things that are supposed to be done and be home just to get some rest and the next morning doing the same thing again and again. It keeps on going on and on and on in circles doing the same thing, be with same people at the same place just like the merry go round and round.

It's been a hectic one week of attachment even though working shifts are better. At least working with the people I know makes it way easier and I've always preferred afternoon shifts. :) Few skills were signed. However, the one and only easiest core skill seems to be the most difficult task for me to complete because I haven't been getting a male patient since the very first attachment. ASKFARGHHHHMYTRV! I'm fine.

Second week couldn't have been better; worse still. Will be having alternating shifts all the way, especially when I have to work afternoon shift which ends at 9 on that day and the next will be a morning shift, have to wake up at 5 in the morning. -.- Insane enough? Hah, what's new? Monday's my case presentation and I'm not done with the case study. Aishh, why must I get a heavy case? By hook or by crook, I'll have to prepare it by tomorrow.

Anyway, Mom made curry puffs and I thought maybe she need a helping hand, so I offered her my help. Its my first time and the first curry puff looked really horrible, with a distorted shape and size just like how my hands tried to put everything together but it just falls out of shape. Out of all the curry puffs, I managed to make only a few curry puffs and gave up soon after realizing, first, how slow I am and, second, that the kitchen was in a mess. And mom looked at me and said, try again. I'm terrible, yes I know that. But it was delicious though it looked a bit (fill in the blanks). I can't find words to fit in. Haha. Whatever.

Nowww, I can't wait for my holidays and camps next month. I'm so looking forward to it. Hooray Hooray. Time flies very fast. No, I'm not worrying :D

#one hundred and twenty-seven

2010-02-28T01:05:00.008+08:00

126, I stopped there.

Exams are done, school is over. Just when I thought Year 1 is finally over, its clear just like crystal clear I'll be having attachment for the next three weeks. Danggg, holidays have to wait for me again. Still, year 1 gonna end soon and I will miss my class, P03. I know I wasn't a good, exemplary assistant leader for both semester. (you classmates shldn't have nominate me) But I hope you guys had fun in class just like I do even though I know I shouldn't interrupt during class/lecture and making you people irritated. Lol. But for this one year since April 09, I am glad to have met friends like Winnie, Eleena, Jessintha, Thandar and the guys. You know I'll always keep you people in my heart. Awwwww. But hopefully, I hope WE WON'T CHANGE CLASS!

Okay so, I've been away from blogging quite long enough? Maybe? No? No. But now I'm back for good. Better, healthier and fatter. Omg fatter! No, healthier and fatter contradicts each other but either way, what I mean is I'm gladly happy, i think. All the downs that I went through eventually became the ups after awhile cause who would actually want a sad, depressing life. Well, in fact nobody does. Nobody and just a smile will brighten up everyone's day :D

Few weeks of revision, staying up late and waking up early, with huge eyebags, going to school just to be prepared for the exams (it was a last minute one) were all worth it with a mini celebration straight after the last paper. Feeling tired and lethargy but we didn't mind about it cause we girls just wanna have fun! Got the whole place to ourselves, surviving for at least 2D1N, with a budget of ten bucks each and it was S U P E R B L Y A W E S O M E E E ♥

Could have stayed longer if there's no school on Friday. And guess what, I'm a G M G M. I've been wanting that. Okay, the three of us actually got to be GM. That's even better. Can't wait for the camp heh :D

Now attachment, 3 weeks and I'm done. Endureee! Hopefully I'm able to switch my roster cause it will be better and easy for me :D

My body needs energy and I need my sleep. Till then, goodnight world :)

P/S: Am I talking alien language to you? Damn, which part of my sentence don't you understand? Omg. Get over yourself please. I don't ask for much. Thank you.

#one hundred and twenty-six

2010-02-04T23:52:00.006+08:00

Look at Wah Wah. Heh.

I miss them.

Woke up at early 6 this morning when my lesson (which I did pay attention for the first 30 minutes) actually starts at 3 in the afternoon. Yeah, what the hell am I up to? Heh. Insane enough? And guess how many times I went to the toilet? I keep drinking water and I'm still thirsty. I hate my medicine. Who knows how long will I need it. Grr.

I used to smile everywhere I go. I used to laugh even at the little little things. I used to do stupid things just to make people happy. I used to irritate people til they get irritated. I used to interrupt anything and everything all of a sudden. I used to walk freely as if the whole world is in my hands. I used to think that I'm a happy-go-lucky girl. I used to feel that I will always make it through every tough situation. I used to forget and leave everything behind just to stop the mind from wandering else where. I used to think that I won't get hurt even though if i did, a little bit of distraction helps. I used to be all this without forcing myself to do it. And just because I'm used to all this, everyone will get used to my reactions and its pretty obvious that they will definitely notice a slight change in me if I stop. I mean, I am still doing all this stuffs, but its not for me, its for them as long as they are happy and will not get the wrong idea thinking that they were the one at fault for transforming me into a totally different side of me. If you're confused, so am I, too tangled up inside.

All of this did stop the moment I entered into an environment with different people, different faces with different perspective of life and different point of view. I wish it never goes on and on and on cause I couldn't take it no more, not any longer. My stay is way too long. I'm tired. It feels like I'm stuck at the moment. I can't take a step backward nor forward. I'm way way behind track but I have to keep on going. Walking ahead, moving forward and chasing after what I need instead of what I want. That will be that.

Stop thinking its you.

Stop thinking its them.

Stop thinking its anyone.

Just stop thinking and blaming yourself.

Cause its no one else but me.

#one hundred and twenty-five

2010-02-03T23:47:00.004+08:00

Time flies very fast. Today is wednesday. Weekends are burned again. Next week is practical week.

Monday - AAP Practical

Tuesday - NSL Practical

Left with 2 hours or less than that to practice the four skills this Friday. Or maybe, I have no time at all. Might be going to the simulation lab. Dang, I've wasted too much time already. I feel so unprepared. Ahhhhhh.

Destress me please. D8

Kay peace peace. Bye.

#one hundred and twenty-four

2010-01-27T22:35:00.005+08:00

My little brother didn't do his math test that well and mom was very pissed with him. So she said,

Mom: *insert angry tone* The paper so easy! Even I can do LCM!

Dad: *clap hands* YAAYYY :D

LOL.

#one hundred and twenty-three

2010-01-26T22:42:00.001+08:00

Korean guy knows malay language.

Birthday on every week. January babies. So, today is Liyana's birthday. Celebrated after lecture and was blindfolded straightaway. I wasn't there with them. Bought a cake for her but ELEENA DID NOT SAVE ONE PIECE FOR ME!! GRR!

Now is still January. Its quite a beginning but lots of things have been going on and for sure there will be more to come. I'm expecting it. Besides that, I'll be having camps, practicals, presentation (almost done), tests on this and next week and many many more. I swear my weekends are gonna be burn! I'm not prepare at all. All this while, it feels as if I've learnt nothing in school. ESPECIALLY DURING CACING'S LESSON! -.- It reflects on the 1231564 tests I did. Dang, please keep me going sane. Yayayayaa, I keep saying I'm gonna study but I won't. & I JUST WON'T.

Okay, now I'm serious. I have to be serious. Maybe? Kay, I'm not. I need a punching bag again. Grrr.

AFHAKSLHFKLASHFKLJAKLGHVNIOWHGILWHKLSNDKLGHSDGNSDHGLSKJGDJSGLS NOW BYE! Don't waste your time reading this blog.

#one hundred and twenty-one

2010-01-24T00:24:00.011+08:00

Collection of dresses for which I have to wear one today. Took me hours looking at the dress that I have to wear and eventually I did. :D

The celebration was a success to them. All of them put in their best effort into it.

On the night of my birthday, I received an envelop from my white humble servants (i have no idea who). I thought it was a top or dress inside it cause it feels like a cloth. But it was a poncho with words saying "When the skies are crying, open this up. It'll protect you dear princess." I am so glad I don't have to wear it cause of the weather!

There's also an invitation card in it which have so many RULES AND REGULATION! To think that I was the princess and they were the servant, it felt as if I was the servant. -.-

So the plan was to meet them at botanic garden the next day at 4 pm sharp! What happened was, the moment I reached bp bustop, I was told to skip 2 to 3 buses. Who knows where were they at that point of time. And when I reached the botanic garden bustop, I had to wait again, this time inside the Gleneagles Hospital, waiting for my first humble servant.

After the waiting time is over, I walked towards the entrance. Searching for the white servants whom I thought were some strangers! I really thought they were asking to approach anyone wearing white. Lol, I feel so dumb.

The moment I reached there, I was given the first letter.

It was an introduction to the journey. It felt as if I was playing some sort of game, not in the pc or whatever but in real life. I was excited and I know they were too!

Kay, next was a tradition, I was blindfolded. I don't like thisss. Grr!

Continued walking until the second letter came. It was on the ground together with a tiara! And my name was on it! Not only that, I got to know that it was made by WAWA! OMG, its like the first time she did it! Awww! I love it! I love it ! Had to wear it all the way! :D

Anyway, back to the letter, I had to greet and take a few pictures with strangers. And there was one lady who was watching and smiling at me while I read it. Guess what, my hands were shaking when I stand beside her, taking the picture. No, I wasn't scared! I was just excited! So I took picture with her and some other strangers. -.-

Then, the third letter came, I had to feed 2 pretty swans. Yayyy I likeeeee even though the bread were eaten by the fishes mostly. Heh.

Again blindfolded. While walking, they got me a riddle. I gave them too many stupid answers. It took me a long time to answer until I received the forth letter. This one got me really messy with flour. Asking me to use my mouth to find something and I really searched for it while Dee poured the glitters on my hair, ONLY ONE SPOT OF MY HAIR! Then, it turned out that there was nothing inside the flour. One of their evil plans! What kind of servants do that to the princess. Tsktsk.

Keep on walking until I reached the rolling ball.

Omg!!!!! I look like a retard, standing there blindfolded with both the fifth letter and my handphone in my hands, alone!

After a few minutes, the phone rang and I had to open the blindfold and read the letter. This time I had to find 6 party hats and ribbons which will lead me to the destination. My hands were so full with a lot of stuffs that I keep dropping the hats and ribbons. Omg, I feel like killing my servants!! Ok nolah, I won't do that. Heh.

From the last ribbon, I saw balloons hanging at the white hut! (they name it the castle, lol) It was so cuteeee! Really cute! I totally love it! I was too happy that I couldn't say anything but smile widely! Once I reached the hut, I had to put the hat on each and everyone of them. My hands was shaking again! I keep getting butterflies in my stomach and my hands couldn't stop trembling! Excitmentzxc!

Soon after that, I saw a birthday cake in the middle of the hut! Lol, this one was really funny. I was damn surprised when I saw the cake but my original reactions of being surprised were never recorded! So, they actually made me repeat my actions again! How I did that, I myself can't believe it.

Beside it, was a gift from them. Its just what I need the most right now. Thank you guysss! Heh. I like ittt!

Picnic in the white hut. Its like almost 5 and I haven't eaten anything yet! Imagine how hungry was I! I know the rest ate their food while the decorating the castle. Its in one of the picture I saw. While eating the cake, I really thought they bought champagne (cause it really look like one) and gonna make sure all the liquid will be splashed on me. I was getting ready to be splashed on and covered my face tightly. I was scared at that time. Heard the popping sound but my body was still dry. Look up and saw two umbrellas directly facing me. -.-

After eating, I had to open the gift cause there's something inside it which was a balloon. And inside the balloon, there's lots and lots of letter F and sweets. How do I get the sweets? They made me turn around with the balloons on top of my head. Then poke it and all of it went inside the tiara that I wore. They were like fools searching for those things. Hoho! You servants deserve that! :D

Then, we went off. But before that, they had to remove the happy birthday balloon that was hanged on the hut and put it all on me.

Made me dance to a song and begin poking the balloons! Ish, that was the most evilest thing they ever did to me on that day! But still, I did enjoy it! :D

Head back to town and guess what happen? We took the lift up and down at orchard central for like quite a number of times. From basement to highest level in that building. Can you imagine that?! Heh. Actl the purpose was to find seats while we were in the lift since the lift is like transparent. Haha, who knows we were like some idiot. In the end we were back at first level and sat around coffee bean, chilling and playing TABOOO! Hoho! Lol.

On the way back home, met Idul. I thought he's gonna be there together with us. Danggg. K nevermind.

It was an amazing day with you guys! Thanks alot guys! The riddles that I can't guess (i suck at guessing), the surprises, the food, the tiara, the balloons, the celebration and everything else. It was awesomeee! Thanks yaaaaaa! I'm so glad to have u guys as my friends and I'll never regret that! ♥

For some reasons, I'm trying to make myself feel better. But I'll be alright cause I know it well. It's part and parcel of life. :)

#one hundred and twenty

2010-01-23T02:01:00.001+08:00

Thank you guys :)

Started of as a bitter sweet eighteen. It was expected though. Woke up feeling horrible, could feel my body really weak, not wanting to do anything at all but lie on the bed. Because of that I skipped 2 hour lecture just staring at the ceiling. Phone was ringing and beeping for every 10 minutes. Still I did nothing. I feel like a fool somewhat. I've got no one to blame but myself. I wanna go back to where I could stand with both my feet on the ground, firmly and confidently. Hopefully things will get better. Yes it will. Its just a matter of time.

Funny how cheese can make me smile. Heh. And I know there's gonna be more smile later afternoon. :)

Goodnight.

#one hundred and nineteen

2010-01-17T21:16:00.008+08:00

He's into me for everything I'm not, according to you.

My body is aching like real bad and I'm rushing for time. I'm in the midst of writing my reflection. I don't have anymore idea of what to write. Worse still, I don't even know when is the due date for my assignments. Feels like I'm in a different planet. Ahhhhhhhh okay nvm I'm fine. :)

#one hundred and eighteen

2010-01-11T00:12:00.000+08:00

Haha, don't bother ;P

#one hundred and seventeen

2010-01-10T18:34:00.004+08:00

I am just as happy like everyone in that picture :D

Random, I know. Blogger getting boring. Bleah B Y E !

#one hundred and sixteen

2010-01-07T20:47:00.008+08:00

Ika and Dan were inside BK, having a hard time with the people there.

I can't believe its 2010 and I'm also already having a hard time. But not in BK this time. Damn, what a way to start.

First week of school is ending soon. Happy, excited, awesome, sad, frustrated. Name it, I have them all. It was just mixed feelings. All I ever wanted was a great and peaceful beginning though I know there will be something thats getting in the way. I feel its coming, I see its coming. Pretty obvious though but I did tried to be normal, act normal by all means. Judging from my words and actions, these are the two different things that I can never match them cause my actions always speaks louder than words and I was not aware of this. Maybe I was overreacting that make the others do it too.

Being ignorant was not even part of my list on how I should be reacting. I was just doing my part, shunning myself from those kind of people that would destroy my life rather than building it up. I keep holding back all of it and trying to make no one feeling guilty. But it was just too much too handle and I guessed that the words coming out from me were a little to harsh but it was not even my intention in the first place. Cause I was pissed. Too pissed for those words I heard repeatedly on my mind that I simply could not grab hold on to anything else and broke down to someone I barely know. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have done it.

Somewhat, I did not blame anyone for this, not even a single soul because these are all my reactions, my mistakes and my foolishness. I'm not bragging about this but I just wanted to apologize for those actions or words that might give the wrong idea. Cause I'm sick and tired of this. I want to get it done and over with. Gonna do it. Gotta do it.

Sometimes I feel like disappearing from everyone and not coming back ever. But running away is never a way to solve anything. My life's a mess and I am one too. I am so twisted. Sigh.

P.S: I wish I have a guardian angel by my side any time and anywhere. You know like those that can fly. Heh.

(This has nothing to do with outsiders.)

#one hundred and fifteen

2010-01-03T04:20:00.001+08:00

In the middle of the night, crazy Ika came over to my house just to scan her art piece. It was nice though, having someone around to hang out with just to kill time rather than doing it alone. Yeah, I'm a loner, I can see that. Okay, not really. I have soft toys to play with. Hee. Lol.

Ika went on surfing the net and found this "interesting" website and listened to it. It was about losing weight. Very draggy and never get straight to the main point on how to actually lose weight. But still, Ika continued listening and I guess she just wasted more than 10 minutes of her life. See how desperate she is to lose weight?

Give up, she blasted Britney's song repeatedly like nobody's business, went bonkers, disturbed my soft toys, danced by the window (to think that nobody's out there but actl there was!) and as usual, taking lots and lots of pictures. :D

And guess what? She named my favourite soft toy CC and I'm the B. What's hers then? I named her K and the garfield she's holding on as NN.

Awww, we are one big family, KNNCCB. Nice one Ika, you must be really mad.

#one hundred and forteen

2010-01-01T04:29:00.001+08:00

I hate the MV. I hate her. But I'm addicted to the song! 8D

I just got home and I don't feel like blogging but I'm still typing this out and I don't know why. Just wishing everyone a Happy New Year! Its already 2010! New journey ahead! Have fun with the days to come, and make sure if you have a new year resolution, make sure its being fulfilled and will be fulfilled. Cause my previous resolution is still not being fulfilled and I know I won't stick to the resolution cause I don't know what's my resolution or maybe I don't have any resolution. K I'm done here.
Pictures later.
P.S: I have nothing to say about 2009 right now. I'm just plain lazy, that's all. Heh, I will post a proper one later :D

#one hundred and thirteen

2009-12-30T01:36:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ok thats disgusting.

#one hundred and twelve

2009-12-29T01:17:00.002+08:00

I'm seriously exhausted. Deprived from good hours of sleep and rest. Promised myself to sleep early but nothing works even though I lay on bed, shutting my eyes for hours and hours. The least I could do was stared into the ceiling with some thoughts running wild, haunting me. Half of my time was spent just by thinking of random things thats ought to be on my mind. It kept me wondering and pondering so hard that I wish I could switch it off though some diversions and distractions, did help a little. Hopelessly hoping for a hope. Insane I know.

A few missed calls and messages. And guess what? I was still sleeping soundly, in my dreamy world. Sis even tried to irritate me so that I could open my eyes. But I couldn't be bothered and thats when cousin came to my house just to wake me up. By that time it was 2 in the afternoon. Dragged my feet and accompanied her out to buy her stationaries. All the way, from house to Lot 1 and back home, I couldn't stop yawning until I lie on the bed. Yawning stops. Sheesh. This totally sucks.

Be meeting my laughing pills tomorrow. Let's hope I'll fall asleep as soon as possible. Those pills might keep me awake by then. Heh. Can't wait! Goodnight! :D

Even when the dust settles, I will still fall the same, like how I do now :)

#one hundred and eleven

2009-12-27T04:28:00.004+08:00

I keep repeating 1.40 - 1.41, 2.25 - 2.26 (melts) and 4.14 until the end. I feel like killing the other guy. Sheesh. I know Nasyita's crazy over Taeyang too. Heh. I rulezz :DDDD And don't forget to upload the pics ya! Thanks!

Brother bought this F21 dress for his future gf (i guess) and asked me to try it on to see if it fits me, which means it fits her too. And OMG ITS SO CUTEEE CAUSE IT FITS ME AND I FEEL LIKE HUGGING MYSELF AND WEARING IT TO SLEEP. Yumyum. I've been staring at it for the past few hours after trying. But whatever, even if its mine, you people will hardly see me wearing dresses. So dream on. Sometimes I wonder if Im a girl. This is so crap and cute. Ha ha ha.

It was a lovely day out with my lovely girls even though it rained just now. Sadly, Wawa's not able to make it there. No plan B and we were running all over the place, like some lost girls, trying our best to find a nice place and atmosphere. And eventually, I'm lucky enough, the rain stopped and we moved our butts to the place that I really really wanted to go so badly. Awww. It was all laughters, talks, mat, foods, long walks, swans, trees, grass, ball, huts, pics and everything I need. I did have fun. Can I have more of that, that, that and that? Heh :)

It's not how I wanted to become but the past made me into what I am now. December is coming to an end. Its gonna be the end of 2009. Its going to be new year soon. I wasn't sure enough of what I did to make myself proud but one thing for sure is I know I did spent quality time with people around. And I want more of that with those closer to me even though I don't really show it. Maybe I'm not matured or even brave enough to have overcome all those courage but I know one day I have and will be more confident rather than lying low and watch others. Such a timid little girl, was never brave enough to fight for my rights, never brave enough to tell people off. I was a fool. Even now, I am still a fool. This have to stop. Its gotta change, slowly. It takes times.

#one hundred and ten

2009-12-24T17:51:00.000+08:00

Good thing I reached home early because grandparents came to my house for awhile. Yayness! I could feel my body being squeezed so tightly by their hugs! Heh heh. Its been months since I saw them and now they are heading back to Malaysia. Sad. I remember those times when we were small and young. The moment our grandparents came knocking at the door, we'll be the ones who get excited and be running to the door, waiting for them to carry us. I miss thattt and for sure, I miss them. Awww. Heh.

Anyway, its Eve of Christmas. No, I don't celebrate Christmas but I happened to receive a pressie from SSA. A big one and a heavy one. *HUGGIES* Didn't expect it from her though but I'll just 'be bless and not grumble' (or mumble like her). Oops! Heh. That I will always remember. For farmvillers, ITS TIME TO OPEN UR PRESENTS! Its 24th of December! :D

And guess what we did just now? We did paint art! Heee! Is it called paint art? Idk. Nevermind, but anyway I never did that before until today. Awww, I feel like a kid again, sitting among them and coloring the alphabet. The process of making it is like so coool. Heh.

When its all done, I made it into my handphone key chain. Now my phone looks like a girl.

Heee :D I need my sleep now. K Bye!

#one hundred and nine

2009-12-23T04:06:00.000+08:00

Locked myself, plugged in my earpiece, tuck in my knees closer to myself (not literally close, but like a prawn maybe? heh) and shut my eyes. I'm guessing that my old and ugly habit has just started taking place, slowly and peacefully. It was never a good start and I swear it will never be. Who knows when will it end. Damn, I am so hating this. All I need for now is energy booster.

Farah, you dumb dumb. What are you thinking? Get a life please.

P/S. I'm fine. I'm well. I'm doing great. No worries. Goodnight :)

#one hundred and eight

2009-12-22T00:43:00.008+08:00

I am so done and dusted with attachment. Was graded the same as the previous one. Tsktsk. Holidays are here but it doesn't feel like one. Aqilah's back from Aussie and she bought loads and loads of stuffs. When I say loads and loads it really mean loads and loads. Heh. I did try my best to stuff everything in my hot pink bag. Thanks alot alot alot gilahh! :D

Towned with Winnie and I AM SO IN LOVE WITH FOREVER 21!

Anyway I just received a compliment from my SSA partnerrr. AWWWW, I'm so touched. Minus my rahrah virus! Thank you! :)

Catch up with Nasyita and Ika after town. Everyone is so busy with their holidays. Why am I not as busy as them? Sheesh. Dee went overseas. Nasyita's going tomorrow. Wawa is having attachment. Winnie will be flying this Saturday. It's just me and Ika. No, I still have Shab and Syahz. Worse come to worse I'll be lying on bed the whole week. Can someone bring me somewhere? :(

I followed my heart. I followed the truth. Right from the start till now, it always lead me to you. Its hard. Its really hard that sometimes I don't even wanna think of it. But somehow, somewhat it will always come back to you.

#one hundred and seven

2009-12-14T10:46:00.001+08:00

Happy belated 18th birthday! :D

Having attachment later. Sheesh, and I think I'm losing my appetite again. :( Bye.

#one hundred and six

2009-12-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

Pretty upset with this attachment. It isn't as good as the previous one. Have to get it over as soon as possible. 5 more days and I'm done and dusted. :(

Meet ups with the girls and I had to get myself out of bed rather than sleeping the whole day. Sleeping is nice but too much of it is not good. I think? Heh. K skip. Tomorrow is Ika's 8th monthsary and I always remember/know/notice it for some reason. I'm great I know. So, she baked cookie for her syg/honey/darling or whatever she call it. (and not forgetting us too!) :D

Wawa is so happy when she received the eggs from the coop, which is my house. (Sometimes I wonder)

Her first cookie which was burnt at the sides.

We made our initials. (except for Nasyita's, a star.)

Too bad I wasn't there the whole time cause I keep going in and out and back and forth to Lot 1 to Ika's house and to my house and to Ika's and to Lot 1 and to my house and to Ika's and now back home safe and sound. I'm not crazy but I had to do something. And because of that I didn't get to see how she made the alphabet cookies which turns out to be fat, cute and round.

BUT AWWWW and she managed to bake it. Heh.
Happy 8th monthsary to both of you. :D

Tomorrow, will be meeting Winnie :D She'll be around bp and I can bet she's gonna get lost and hail a cab for every minute she get out from her auntie's house there for 9 days(?) Lolingzxc. So I'll see you in a bit yaaa. And now I need my sleep. Goodniteee :D

So we'll crawl till we can walk again.
Then we'll run until we're strong enough to jump.
Then we'll fly until there is no end.

#one hundred and five

2009-12-05T22:06:00.005+08:00

#one hundred and four

2009-11-26T21:22:00.002+08:00

Something funny happened just now.

Hungry, I went to the kitchen and look at the food cooked. Mum watching tv at the living room.

Translated to English

Me: Ma! The fish too big! I cannot finish it!

Mum: HUH? Spider?? How big is it?? Don't kill it!

Me: (I didn't hear the word spider) HUH? What don't kill? Its already being killed! I want to eat it!

Mum: Don't eat it! Don't be disgusting can?!

I was like HUH? So, I walked to the living room.

Me: Why cannot eat the fish??

Mum was like, ohhh fish? and she burst out laughing and cover her face.

Sis was there, already laughing and she said that mum thought I was talking about spider.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

How cute is that!

#one hundred and three

2009-11-26T03:26:00.001+08:00

300am. Ika just went home after she did the scanning, editing, and research(?) on her art piece. She showed me the number of projects she had and I realized that my assignments is actually half of hers. Omg, that's so scary. Maybe now instead of complaining a lot to her when I have new assignments, I should just keep quiet. Because I know it won't be as bad as hers. Sheesh! I feel so lucky!

I've been sleeping late and waking up early these days. The dark circles are more obvious than ever. My body is aching and I don't see how I can get so hyper in school. School starts at 11am later. I should be sleeping by now. Bottom line, I'll be having CMBIO test in the afternoon. I've been reading the same chapter again and again but nothing gets into this head of mine. Nvm, I'll do it during the break later.

So, anyway, common test is next week and yes, I am not prepared. I feel like banging my head onto the wall. After SAWI, its NR, and common test is up next. It didn't end there, I know I'll have to work on SAWI again and back to NR after attachment. And there goes my two weeks of holidays. Oh so lovely.

#one hundred and two

2009-11-22T12:25:00.003+08:00

Woken up by Nasyita's call and was told that she was under my blk. I was sleeping so soundly with an instant heart melting dream. Yet to believe that dreams doesn't come true when she told me "Anything can happen if you make it happen. How come deja vu happens, where your dream comes to reality?"

I wish I am brave enough to tell you how I feel. Sadly, I'm not.

#one hundred and one

2009-11-21T18:00:00.002+08:00

Ishhhhhh. This is unbelievable! I spent like freaking 4 hours staring at my farmville and typing only the title of literature review. Omgggggggg. NR is driving me nutszxxzcxcz! I can't think of any words to type out for the review. Few more days left before the assignment is due. I'm going crazy soon. I lost my concentration. I lost the focus. What am I doing?

I need chocolates.

That you never did care enough about me anyway.
So I guess it'd be best for both of us if I didn't stay.

#one hundred

2009-11-20T22:03:00.003+08:00

It's raining. It's pouring. Farah is snoring. She went to bed and bump her head and couldn't wake up in the morning!

Can I say I loveeeeeeeeeeee NSL Practical aloootttttttt?!?!?! Hehehehehehehe. Shocked+happy+excited+surprised+speechless (+ a bit of nervous). The assessor was my FON lecturer. She gave me oreo just before I start the practical but still made me panic for awhile. How cute was that! I was lucky to get blood glucose meter. Awwww, and I got to prick Eleena's finger like finally! Heee! I love my hands, always taking the easiest skill. :DDDDDDD (Winnie, don't be nervous ok? Hahahahahahahahahaha.)

Anyway, guess what happened in the bus just now??? An old man started talking to me and offering bubblegum just when I sat beside him even though he saw the earpiece that was plugged into my ears. How freaky was that? Sheesh. I do not talk to strangers. But what happen if the stranger talk to you? Ish such a pest. -.-

Parents forum tomorrow. Be in school by 8 again. Suppose to go for my Hep B 3rd dose but I guess I will have to delay it. & that's a YAY! The rehearsal just now was taking up too much of my time and I'm tired of waiting so I escaped from it after half an hour(?) Lolzxc.

I was scolded for laughing like an engine. Is it that bad? :( Hahah.

My bed looks so comfortable. I think I need my beauty sleep. Badly. Like really badly. This is the reason why I hate waking up early. Grrr. Goodnight people. :)

Are you giving up?

#ninety-nine

2009-11-15T03:23:00.006+08:00

There are times when you think and feel that someone will notice/act/feel the same way for you but isn't sure whether they are really meant for you and somehow you really wish and hope that they really are meant for you, yet again you're confused and guessed that those emotions does not belong to you and for sure will never belong to you. That is what's making me shatter inside. Why do I feel that way? Do you feel it too?

#ninety-eight

2009-11-13T21:11:00.006+08:00

Green shorts and black top. Planned it with Winnie the day before and that's when I realised she does not wear dress for a very long time. Oh well, I guess she mixed around with me too much. Heheh. And we even made a promise and she broke it early in the morning. Nehh it doesn't really matter cause I didn't keep it too but at least I've tried. Heee!

And look what I have here..

Awww. It's Wawa's BLURBLUR! Don't worry, I'll take care of him and pass it to her on Sunday! :D

#ninety-seven

2009-11-11T00:23:00.003+08:00

I miss them ♥

Anyway, I HATE SEMESTER TWO REAL BAD!!! :(

#ninety-six

2009-11-07T16:20:00.002+08:00

Awwwwwww ♥

Happy 16th Birthday Humairah!

#ninety-five

2009-11-05T21:41:00.003+08:00

"I heard some twittering somewhere that maybe, just maybe, Lee Min Ho might be back in Singapore very soon."

Is it so hard to recover?!?!? Can't stand my nose! Tsktsk!

Finally, I'm reaching out again

2009-11-05T00:26:00.004+08:00

For god sake, I have no idea what the lecturer was talking about, going through ONE freaking slide for few hours/days! Other lecture groups had their chapter done except for us. I'm so glad that we were saved by our previous lecturer. He spent the whole 2 hours, surviving without a break in between, going through the whole chapter of 73 slides (+/-) and jotting down the notes silently. It used to be that way; before, and not after but now. How I love L01. (sometimes? Haha)

Anatomy and Physiology (AAP) is saved. All I need to worry about is Nursing Skill Lab (NSL). I wonder why is there more theory than practical. Friday 2 hrs of sch, might be joining P07 after that for practical. I bet their teacher will not want us to see her former students struggling. :D

I can't scream even though I tried to alot of times just now. I'm trying to hard. I know I'm not supposed to talk but I can't help it but to talk like a parrot (I don't copy people's word but this is according to Thandar) and my nose too, can't stop making awful noises. I can't laugh properly. I can't even taste the food which was why I don't feel like eating. This totally sucks! I wanna get well so badly. :(

This is what you get in return for teasing someone.

My fault, I'm sorry. But I miss talking to Nasyita. :(

Break down the wall

2009-11-03T00:30:00.002+08:00

I'm hungry and I can't sleep.

You've got your own back to lean on

2009-11-02T19:21:00.004+08:00

Just when I thought everything was fine. _|_

School's great after I skipped the first module(SAWI) of the week but I don't care. Medicine is suppose to make people drowsy and sleepy. I think I may have eaten the wrong medicine which was the reason how I became so hyper the whole day even after knowing something is wrong somewhere in my life. Wth ya. Yes, I am happy right now, besides having some bitching here and there. I guess I've been keeping quiet for too long even now. Hah. New steps and new move for S&W hip hop, which I think is better than last week. Well this is just for beginners, what do you expect? Heh. And guess who I found there?!?! A KOREAN FRIEND WHO CAN SPEAK ENGLISH, CHINESE, MALAY, KOREAN, FRENCH! (Jeng Jeng Jeng) Yeah I likeee~

Anyway, I bet tomorrow's gonna be an exciting long day. We'll just see how it goes. Goodnight!

Sexcited

2009-10-31T21:56:00.005+08:00

LOOK AT WHAT IKA SAID! :DDDD CLICK ON THE PIC ABOVE TO ENLARGE IT!

Its all around me

2009-10-31T13:02:00.007+08:00

I realized I've been taking lots and lots of pictures including the lecturers giving me the what-the-heck-are-you-doing face.

And guess what! I have a Korean name! Teehee. (Like you know how I usually smile after receiving the card) :D

My immunity level was so freaking high just before I entered a small car with 8 sick people squeezing in which also made me had butt cramps too! I was so excited because I was close enough to enter Night Safari Halloween when it rained heavily yesterday. Grr. Too bad for us. That's when all sorts of plan came out and one of it was watching Halloween 2. It was not a great movie after all, most of the scenes were sickening. Omg! After the movie, headed straight for dinner and was back home at 12. I was sleeping soundly in the car when the others, talking and laughing out loud. I'm such a sleepyhead. Heh heh.

You and I

2009-10-29T21:24:00.000+08:00

So cute! :DDDD

Couldn't care less

2009-10-27T20:42:00.005+08:00

Neither am I mad. Neither am I sad. I will just gonna put everything aside and pretend my circle of friends are limited. I have this smile which can only appear to those people. If you smile at me and if I don't smile back, this means I don't know who you are or let's just say WE never meet. Isn't that simple? Don't worry. If you can't do that, I can. If you don't understand me, try understanding yourself first. Find a reason in yourself before asking anything. Enough said. Thank you. Bye.

A little stranger than the other

2009-10-24T23:42:00.003+08:00

Hopeless Saturday. It's 24th October and I heard that Lee Min Ho is coming Singapore and will be staying in Singapore for 2 days at Raffles Hotel for the second time. The first time he came I missed it due to some reasons.

Omgggg. Can you imagine how I excited was when I heard this. I dragged my cousin along just to see him. This is the only time you can see girls become so rough and ugly, running here and there like mad cows when they see their celebrities, or not. It was late to pick up Lee Min Ho from the airport, so I went to town straight at 1pm. Thought it would be early if we went Plaza Singapura because he will only welcome the opening of Etude at 4pm.

I was smiling so widely that I think I know how it looked like while walking our way there. My toes were hurting but I didn't mind. As long as I've got to see him that's fine with me. As soon as we reached there, I was like :O because the crowds were like mad.

The lifts were to slow and the escalator ware blocked by LMH's fans. We took the staircase exits to be on the same level as Etude. We got ourselves a way to get near to the shop but were just stuck at KFC. It was hot and sweaty. We waited and waited. Even before 4pm, some of the fans walked away and said the event was canceled. At first I couldn't believe it, thought maybe it was a way to get the fans out from there. However, more and more fans went out towards us and we made our way nearer to the shop. That was when the security said it was canceled.

WT HECK! The security even told us there was a small gift from Etude near Starbucks. That part was funny! The girls! OMG GIRLS! Running like elephants all the way up to Starbucks! I'm not saying I'm not part of the crowd but it was amazing to see them or even myself behaving that way. And there was a long freaking queue! After awhile, I started seeing more and more girls running towards us trying to cut the queue just to receive the small gift. Its not as if LMH is there. -.-

It was just a small box of powder. And guess what was inside it?? There were only a few cotton wools in it. Total cheapskate!

I kinda wish I meet him. Wouldn't it be great if that happens? :(

Put On A Show

2009-10-23T21:29:00.004+08:00

Isn't this song naiseeee? :DDDD

Anyway, Lee Min Ho is in Singapore tomorrow! Omgggg can't wait! Hehehohohahahuhu! Ok bye!

I've got my share of pain

2009-10-23T01:04:00.002+08:00

I really need to get away from people around me. I feel so near yet so far. Reason is because I am simply too naive to always be there for them when they don't even do the same thing in return. Instead they just throw it away as if its nothing to them. Oh? Am I your freaking slave or something? I'm just so pissed to have always been through this A LOT of times. I don't have to say who you are or whatsoever. Just mind what you're doing and don't get me involve in your situation when you're in need if this is what you want. If you realize you're guilty, I don't need your apology. You just have to feel sorry for yourself for being way too selfish, treating people as if humans have no feelings. Whether you're there or not, it doesn't make any difference to me. Too bad you are like that but I can handle this myself! Thanks a lot! Bye!

You know I'm gonna be okay

2009-10-20T19:54:00.003+08:00

My hair sucks.

Today is very today. I sat too much. I walked too much. I stared too much. I listened to much. I talked too much. Oh, did I? But anyway, I'm so glad that I'm already home. I am so tired. I am very tired. I am very very tired. Tuesday used to be my favourite day with 4 hrs of school but for this semester, it increases to 10! From 8am all the way to 6pm with only 2hrs of break! I totally wish there are no Tuesdays! Not only that, I have 1 module for 4 long hours! I feel dying! Ok nevermind about this. Its only once a week. I have to bare this in mind and drag my feet to school. How I love my timetable! -.-

And again I have a new name. Thanks ya, Nas! You people really have nothing better to do. *Shakes head*

The truth is a little too twisted

2009-10-18T15:37:00.006+08:00

It's been a long time since I attended to a wedding ceremony and I became the flower girl. It was my first time, so busy until I found my secondary school senior's sister. We chatted and laughed for a very long time. And our aunties keep saying 'potong gaji' for I don't know how many times. Hahaha. But we pretend we heard nothing. It was fun. We were kinda related in a way or another; be it friends or relatives. Didn't know they came. Still, it was a surprise to meet them there. Heh.

Anyway, Cheers to the start of term 2 tomorrow! Like finally I'm heading back to school! More modules, long timetables. My attachment learning journal still not done yet. Ah, I'm so forgetful! And I can't wait to see Nasyita's hair! Is it short? Or is it the same length. I'm so curious. Yet again, she cut short previously. I should know how it looks like. Can't wait! Hehehe.

Not forgetting my work(If I get through the interview), I'll be working too. That will keep me busy and tired all day long. Hope all this will gonna be ok for me. I'm scared but I'll try. Heh.

Back to my learning journal. Well then, see you people around if I see you! :D

Happiness held is the seed, happiness shared is the flower.

2009-10-13T22:02:00.004+08:00

Wajihah is really a busy woman. Even before working in the hospital. Only god knows why she's that busy. That is why outings for us have to be planned ahead. So Wa, you better treat us something and I know you will! Hehehehe.

But yesterday to bugis, was planned the day before and it was a success yet still, Wa had to go off around 7. Which is a good thing because I didn't buy the dress. I got something better. Earlier before meeting Dee and Rain, we tried something new. Something that people never seen before. Even I haven't seen it before until that day and its my hair! I had my hair short. The first thing that came into my mind was I looked like a guy who turned into a girl. But they say its nice. Hahaha. So, I'm still in dilemma whether I should cut it or not. I know Nasyita's gonna cut it. You go private investigator! Hehehe.

Anyway, played taboo on Sunday. The excitement and self-hyper did not stay throughout the game. It only begins in the afternoon and on msn. Should play it with a different person the next time.

After the game, went to Lot 1 to grab some food after that and head to Cotton On. As usual, this long lost person who does not recognize me every time I walked into that shop but eventually that day he finally regain his conscious and gladly remembered me! And you guys should be lucky I can get discounts for it. Yet, not even a 'thank you' heard. :P

We're blocking his way, we know. And he has to wait for us to take this picture. Heh.

Might be going to school to buy lecture notes with Nasyita tomorrow. And maybe, heading to town, still not sure yet. My money is depleting, I have to stop spending for now since I won't be working. Got to search for one soon!

There’s only now, there’s only here

2009-10-11T01:22:00.003+08:00

Finally I'm done with my attachment for this holidays! I am so deadbeat after having morning and afternoon shifts for three weeks straight (including weekends!). Yesterday was the last one and I was quite sad that I won't be seeing those cute aunties there. I am lucky enough I replaced one of the days on last Saturday. Grades were given and I know I could have gotten better if its not for my punctuality. Still, its okay because its my first time working in the hospital. Straight after school, I went bugis with Shab and I was close enough to buy a dress but in the end we totally forgot all about it and I didn't not buy it. How unlucky am I.

I guess this weeks will be the last week of holiday which I think is enough for me to rest, and after that I'll be heading back to school. Second semester is better because of the timetable. I don't have to wake up at 8 everyday except for Tuesday but still I hate it because school ends late most of time. Start late, end late.

Anyway, today was suppose to be another day out with the secondary school students but most of them were busy. So, Nasyita and I went out with our L03 mates, together with Dida. Went all around Singapore but didn't manage to visit one of the house which is in Tampines. We were all tired and couldn't walk anymore. I'm so glad I reached home already.

My eyes can barely open. I'm typing this with my eyes half open, half close. Heh, I should sleep now. Goodnight. K bye.

Part and parcel of life

2009-09-30T23:11:00.008+08:00

Time was too quick to be depended on. It happened too fast and too furious, yet, I was not prepare of the outcome at all. AT ALL. Didn't expect anything like this to happen. Sad and shocked, I know I must and I have to finally accept the fact that what is left will only remain as memories. Nothing more, nothing less.

For that half a year which I got to be close with him, everything seemed so fine and happy, with a smile appeared. The jokes, the wanderings inside the house searching for food in the middle of the night, those callings, topup of ezlinks, creating quite a number of internet accounts and all those other little-little things were all noticeable even though I did not show up right in front. It was a lovable and warming kind of feeling to be looking at those funny things done around me although some times his emotions changed into some thing which we did not want it to be. When he is kind, everything seemed so calm. When he is angry, we will watch him silently until he pacifies himself. Still, the reason he did that was just to show off. The last time we met was a week ago and as usual, smiling and disturbing those around. Even though it did not last for so long, at the very least, I managed to be around him. However, right here, right now, things are different. I know this will never happen anymore. It has come to an end. I'm terribly sad. I can't sleep. No words can describe the feelings I'm having now.

Sigh. I miss my cousin. I love my cousin.

Maybe I’m not enough or you’re just too much

2009-09-16T18:10:00.002+08:00

Just finished tuition and I feel so tired but I can't sleep! Mmmhhmmmm... Just before that Ika came to my house around 12 yesterday to watch Final Destination 4 and Bring It On. Time flies really very fast.

I want to watch Final Destination 3D in the cinema but its M18. -.- Very funny she laughed while watching the show. Gross Ika, gross. Urghh. After watching FD4, I watched Bring It On while Ika lie on the bed, almost asleep, after eating.

You will grow fat Ika! :P

As soon as it reached the climax, Ika woke up and had to go home to sahur. Haiyoooo. I didn't get to watch it until the end :( Ika, I need/want the CD. Thanks!

Hari Raya is around the corner but I don't have the mood to celebrate it. I have this feeling that it will not be as great as compared to the previous years. Whatever it is, attachment is another thing, but I'm not talking about attachment here. A few more days to Hari Raya, some things are somehow still not done. Nevermind, I just need to get myself ready for it. (:

Ok, I'm breaking my fast soon. Need to help my mum! Toodles!

/edit

Time check 4am in the morning. I am still very awake. But my body is really weak. I don't have enough sleep. My eye bag is growing bigger and bigger. What the hell am I doing here typing? Been stoning for awhile just now. Something is wrong with me. I will/must sleep right after sahur/eating breakfast. Sing me a lullaby and I will sleep, definitely. Will you?

Have you decide how long will it take?

Hold on to the new life

2009-09-14T00:26:00.010+08:00

I change the song. I change the background. I change the colour. Can't seem to find anything to do cause I almost did what I'm suppose to do. I think?

In the morning, followed mum and dad to geylang. Actually, was suppose to accompany someone to Tampines but I canceled it. I'm suppose to have tuition but I postpone it to weekdays. What am I doing? Never mind.

Ummmm.. Lately, I've been thinking a lot, after all this while, I realised that there is one thing I have not done. To the person that I once get caught up with. The person who had changed my life to a certain point. The person who made me smile and cried to the fullest. The person who made me see things through. The person who knocked some sense into me for what I had become now. And also the person who made me become who I am now. All I've been wanting to say is a big thank you for being there for me during the times I need so badly. I am not sure if I should write all this but I know today is a special day for you. Its the day when a person turns a year older. This is just a little something for you. I just want to wish you Happy Birthday, Hakim. I am pretty sure you are doing well right now. Soooo.. have a nice day ahead, have fun and goodnight :)

I shine so bright when you're around.

Lee Min Ho is inside~ But his hair looks pathetic! -.-

Anyone but you

2009-09-13T12:48:00.002+08:00

"Well, I’m aware I lack some people’s … easy grace with strangers. I don’t exactly make you feel like you’ve known me forever even though we just met. When I laugh, you might not smile just at the coquettish sound of it, and I may not be spontaneous or delightful or full of surprises, and my hair not sparkle when it catches the light…"
— Blair Waldorf.

Can I ask for more?

2009-09-11T00:53:00.004+08:00

I know. My blog still look the same. The colour, the boxes. Except there is the colourful line between the navigation and my profile. Okay, I was bored bored bored. Very bored. -.-

Hmm. Where should I start?

Basically I was at home sitting in front of the computer when my mum asked me to buy some stuffs for her. Not once, she keep asking me to go buy this and that and all this while I've been going in and out from the house to buy those stuffs. Funny thing, I didn't complain like I usually do. I was just bored. That's why.

Why is 'bored' a word? Bored!

The girls are very busy this two weeks. Wawa's plan was canceled and will be canceled again. I guess? Tomorrow's tuition is canceled. Nasyita's going out with her family. Wajihah having attachment till 9. Dee's accompanying me to suntec for awhile. Ika's going out with idk who. Winnie's going back Malaysia tomorrow. Very busy yeah?

My attachment is in one week time. I am scared of hospital. Did I ever mention that? How many times did I say bored in this post? Until the day I have attachment, I won't use the word 'bored' so often. Heh heh.

And ika, gi mkn potato chips. Jgn byk bising ok?

Maybe there will be a next time

2009-09-10T01:05:00.004+08:00

Not long after breaking fast, I had a random call from Ika saying that she wants to go geylang. -.- I wasn't doing anything so I agreed to accompany her. As soon as we reached interchange, she said she just wants to watch movie at Lot 1. Yeah, that's Ika anyway. Heh heh.

I'm not sure of whats going on between us. Neither do you. I realized that we have not been talking and laughing and telling each other about whats going on around us. It was kind of unexpected? I was actually sad when the topic suddenly came out of nowhere. Having new friends and all, I guess I've been neglecting you all along. I have and need to stop being self centered. I'm sorry Nasyita. We should go out one day. I love you. :D

Anyway, happy 2 years anniversary to both Nadiah and Fahrain, and Nasyita and Hafiz. Good luck to both couples for the upcoming years. I know its abit late, but I did wish. :P

Still an ordinary firework

2009-09-08T23:52:00.001+08:00

Cheers is 24hrs open. Heh I didn't know that :P And ya, thanks Ika for the pic. Whatever bleah~

Suppose to go out with Shab and Syahz but it was a last minute cancel due to some purposes. I miss them. It is very hard to meet them. Even though one of them live so near and the other one obviously because she lives at the other end of Singapore. -.- Never mind, I'll meet them next time.

My cousin, together with my cute little niece, came today just to help my mum with the furniture and all while I did spring cleaning for my room. It was a hectic day. After moving the stuffs here and there, my room looked quite big actually. Changed the bed sheets, curtains and once I finish painting the walls, my room will definitely feel so pink. I mean not everything is pink, there are also other colour too. But actually most of it is pink. :D

Anyway, its Firdaus birthday today but we celebrated it yesterday. Though the celebration was nothing much, just movie and foods, and we had nothing for him, I hope he enjoyed his 18th birthday celebration.

Since I'm not doing anything, I'm going to watch my movie/drama now. Hehehe. Tata.

It feels weird, doesn't it? I saw you. I know I saw you. How can someone smile and pretend nothing happen in the first place and then avoid again like they used to. I don't get you. Really. I'm not sure if you still read my blog. Because the person I know will not do it after something went wrong as if its a sin if they do it. Till now, I still don't understand how and why it become like this. I'm at my weakest point right now.

Beginning to the end

2009-09-06T11:15:00.001+08:00

Haha, amazing how Dee love the videos.

Today was awesome. I did not sleep the whole of yesterday night cause I was watching Full House again until 7 in the morning and I went to sleep. Woke up, I only had a few minutes before I break fast. Heh heh. I had nothing to do with my holidays. Its fasting month anyway, what do you expect?

I planned. We planned. Planned for tomorrow. Planning for tomorrow had me going really crazy. I have no idea that guys are also fickle minded. -.-

I think I will be in need of money very very soon. Primary schools exams are around the corner, especially PSLE which falls during the first two weeks of October. This means that I will not be having any tuition which also means that I have no money. -.- I know its Hari Raya but I will be having my attachment. I will not be at home most of the time being with my relatives and all. Whatever it is, I really need a job soon. :(

Time will tell

2009-09-03T16:00:00.003+08:00

This may be the second post for today. Heheh but watch this video. Its so funny!

Their reactions are so funny! Especially when both the small kid and Nichkhun had the same expressions. OMG they look so cuteee! Hahaha.

And this one is sweeet. I like this! AHHHHHHHHH~

When it comes around in a circle

2009-09-03T03:03:00.002+08:00

Wooo~ Like finally I know how to use my PDA. But its a bit troublesome because the fonts are like so damn tiny and my fingers can't even press the correct button. But never mind, I know I will get used to it soon.

Anyways, I'm kind of addicted to FACEBOOK NOTES! I love doing it cause it actually make me happy. Heh heh. That's what I do most of the time at night. Boredzxzxzz. It's 2plus going 3? I didn't realize its morning/night/morning-night already and my brain is not functioning well. Okay, I know its never functioning properly. -.-

So here's yesterday picture. Didn't get to buy anything cause I have no idea what to buy for myself. Heh.

Not like there's no other choice

2009-09-02T13:08:00.001+08:00

Oh my god, I'm losing my voice in no time. What did I do? I think I sound so manly. I can't talk properly. I can't scream and shout like how I used to. And I keep coughing non stop. Grrr. I'm sick. Woke up around 10plus and found that nobody was at home. Had nothing to do so I went back to sleep. I love the weather right now. So windy and full of breeze. I remembered I did not wake up for sahur. I was too tired sleeping late yesterday watching Full House again. -.-

Umm, I'll be going out later with the girls, maybe? Dee's not confirm, Wawa having attachment until 5, Ika and Nasyita is very free. We'll see how. Okay, and I just received a text from Ika. Need to accompany her to her school around 2 later to hand in her mc? That will be in an hour time and I have yet to bathe. Can it rain now? So that I can bathe myself in the rain, lol.

Anyway, Winnie is coming home today! Hehehehe.

Turns darker every minute.

2009-09-01T21:03:00.003+08:00

I have three weeks of holidays before my attachmentszxzxzx! Kill me. I am so bored. I am so bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored right now. Blogger is giving me problems. Grrrr. Stupid blogger.

I miss school celebrations; be it participating in school events or taking videos of them participating. I remembered the first time when I had to stand on stage together with the whole class singing I cannot remember which country song and I had the first picture of us, with me standing in the front row with my rabbit teeth and my friends all at the last row. That was an embarrassment because it was the first thing my friends noticed and it happened to be uploaded on West Spring blog. Heh heh.

Anyway, its teacher's day today, HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY! Yesterday is the day schools celebrated it. I did not go for the celebration. Even if I went for it, it will be of no use and also I heard that BYD was canceled which means the celebration was not that great. I notice that West Spring changed a lot ever since the change of our principal and it will not be as fun as my secondary one days. Okay whatever like West Spring is always West Spring. -.-

Might be going out tomorrow. I'm always looking forward to the next day everyday but somehow it looks like everyday is never better. It gets duller and duller. Is there such a word? Hehehe.

Look at this! Hehehe. It's actually Dee's tagboard. Was laughing out loud when she changed all sort of weird colour. HAHA. Its the only thing that is colourful in her blog. I likeee~

I'm glad that I'm still strong though deep down, it hurts so bad.

Even when the birds stop flying around

2009-08-31T04:54:00.013+08:00

Today seems like the first time for this year that I wake up for sahur. Nobody wake me up cause I asked my mum not to do so even though exams are over and also I really do not have the mood to eat. But here I am, waking up automatically , due to a pathetic dream, after eating my early breakfast which I do not really eat much and now unable to put myself to sleep.

Somehow or rather today feels like last year fasting month where I had to face some difficult situation which somewhat leads me to having no mood to try and taste any dishes prepared. This also happened when I break my fast. Its a bit of weird to see me eating so little, isn't it? Yet, I feel so sorry for my mum, cooking my favorite dish. History always repeats and I wonder why. Is it because I tend to repeat my mistakes or is it because I always I avoid it? Either way, both seems the same to me. However, I had a feeling my mum knows what happened to me recently. Still like last year, she understand why I do not eat so much like I usually do. Yeah, only she knows me well.

During the previous year, when I lie down, all I could do was tossed around on my bed, the first thing I did when I woke up was crying out really softly every day, going through things alone, am not able to concentrate in my studies or anything but I did made it though. And worst still, all I could do was nothing except stare at myself in the mirror. All of what happened last year kind of had the continuity of the story. I even asked myself why is this always happening to me and how long will it stays?

I wish it stops one day. If I could turn back time, I will make sure things do not go wrong or have everything done all over again. I know this is stupid, I cannot do such things. Shit does happen sometimes, but to me in all ways always.

I hope today will be a better day.(:

Beautifully built for you

2009-08-29T20:52:00.005+08:00

We celebrated Wajihah's surprised 17th birthday at Fish & Co. since she really wanted to try the food there. Dumb blinded, balloons, foods, travels, escalator, slide, laugh, screams, conversation, colours, presents, surprises, silly faces, snow city(?) and many more were all planned incredibly and smoothly for her. I hope it was an enjoyable day for her.

Those decisions were my mistakes.

2009-08-27T02:46:00.001+08:00

Guess what? I totally screwed my psychology and sociology paper just now. Never had I been in such a situation when my mind simply switched off every entire information for that particular exam. The moment I flipped it open, I had this vision as if I see lines instead of sentences. You can ask what the hell is wrong with me and I will tell you to mind your own business. I doubt you know where this is coming from? Because I, myself have no idea. My eyes were set staring on the question paper but my mind was elsewhere. I remembered clearly one thing that I thought of during the paper. It was actually a chain of what I conclude human like me to be like. It was funny actually. Whatever it is, screw me, what was I even thinking of.

There goes the truth. I know I am lying to myself. I never want to do this. I am no good at this. I know where what-we-are-coming-to. I refuse to understand it. I am always a coward when it comes to reality. Because the next moment it had me feeling so small. Escaping from getting what I hated to become, somewhat I choose to be ignorant. Eventually it will grow bigger and tougher when it returns. But yet I can never make myself face it; what's happening around feels like a world full of butterflies and flowers. To get the things now and the ones left behind is always what everyone want and dream even though thing does not go our own ways. I will have to take a few steps back. I will be able get this over and done with and I know I will feel way better and fine.

I know I should be sleeping by now, just to ease my mind for my MIC test later. I am being paranoid and my mind can't seem to stop wondering. I need to stop all this soon. Sigh.

Take It Away, Far Away

2009-08-25T21:48:00.004+08:00

At one point of time, everything seemed so beautiful. But the next moment, it all turned ugly and bitter. Its not the kind of fairytale on TV which always end happily ever after with butterflies and flowers around. If only this world is full of fantasy, I will be the happiest girl on the planet. I'm living on a world of reality that I might even feel like avoiding and running away. But either way, the reality will always get back to us and what's new? Face it. Even with that, I am still a happy girl with many girlfriends that I can rely and depend on. I love them.

I know I have this habit of keeping everything to myself. When you found out something new and want it to be kept as a secret, have you ever thought of telling everyone about it or will you just let certain people know about it? Yes, I admit I did that but I hate to have the thought of making anyone feeling hurt and abandon. Its not as if I'm doing on purpose. Everything happens for a reason but it is only meant to be a hidden truth.

Okay I miss one of my girls, Wajihah. :( Once I see her tomorrow, I will hug her tightly. Heh heh. And now, back to my studies. Kbye.

My prize possession

2009-08-24T22:29:00.004+08:00

Yes, I did study and camwhore at the same time :D

After breaking fast, watched sumpah pochong. The movie was not really scary. I think its my screams that add to the effect of it. But it was fun after all even though we didn't really get to watch it until the end. Heh :D

Get a grip of yourself

2009-08-20T20:33:00.001+08:00

I wish that day didn't happen. What I wanted to say was a lie because it is just a game that happen to be a fact. It is like a maze that I purposely twisted and turned everything upside down, trying to make it as apparent as it may be but it is still vague. What did I just do? How can a game turn out to be so true?

I have a feeling that I will hit depression at any time. Bottling everything up inside me. I find it hard to trust anyone to let them know what I really and truly feel. Blogging alone does not really help even though I let go some of it here indirectly. I may be a person who seems cheerful and always smiling but whats left inside is undefined. A piece of me is still searching for the emergency exit to the way out of my situation. I'm just too tired to even feel like solving the problem. Instead I would prefer it to be forgotten. However, when I happen to remember it, it would actually replay inside my mind continuously. Things will eventually become worse. It is like a cycle of my memory except that the situation grew bigger each time. Oh well, what's new?

I never have an intention of hurting anyone. I do not understand why am I suppose to inform everything I did at every point of time. I have a life too. It is my life and that is how I want it to be led. I'm not trying to be demanding. Everyone have their own way of living. There was one time I completely change for someone and let me say this, it sucks. It totally do. By the end of the day, you will lose out and may not know where you're actually standing. Because you have no idea what is the purpose for doing it. So, why waste your time and life following what people want you to be like? For the past 17 years of my life, I can never figure out why am I being like this. It so happen that my instinct says that I am just what I am. Like it or not, accept me for what and who I am. I am just being myself.

Tomorrow is my first paper and I am so nervous. Grr. I better revise again. Good luck to those having exams :)

Delusional

2009-08-19T01:54:00.002+08:00

I would rather watch the huge orange ball against a deep blue ocean settling down over the horizon. Because what we are now stays as it is. This is what I would prefer my life to be like. Being what I am now is great yet unsatisfying. Even though there are quite a number ups and downs which I still and managed to pull things through with the help of my wonderful friends. Hopefully, everything will flow smoothly because there is nothing as wonderful as putting on a sincere smile on one's face.

If you notice this, almost all guys have one thing in common. They tend to say things that are never meant to be true. I'm not trying to imply that guys could not be trusted in a relationship but when it comes to after-the-end of a relationship, all their words are jumbled up and probably they want to forget what was said earlier or even they didn't want to admit if they really did say those words. I'm not upset or having any hard times with guys now. This is just a way to let things out. Do not be offended because this post is not about anyone :)

I have to finish up my FON revision before Thursday. Did I ever mention I hate exams? Grr, I'm so rushing for time right now. All I have to do now is mug and mug and mug until exams are over. However still, there will be more to come. I better get my eyes on my revision notes instead of blogging and wasting more time here.

Out To The Moon

2009-08-16T02:03:00.004+08:00

I'm becoming more and more lazy to blog :((

Exams are around the corner. This means that my cycle of life will be a bore because all that I will be doing is study, eat, sleep, wake up. Hmpf. What a life.

Followed by holidays which doesn't really feel like holidays. Because of clinical attachment which happens to clash with the first three weeks of Hari Raya. This basically means that I have only the last week to enjoy -.- And the last week of my holiday, I'll be having another class outing.

Winnie is so free that she blogged about me. Now is my turn :D I tell you already, don't want listen right? Now you see this :D

Okay, I am super tired already. Tomorrow's gonna be the same like every day. Right now, I can't wait for Monday just to see my SSA partner. :P

P.S Winnie, I'm bringing him on Monday. Muahahaha. By the way, this post about Winnie is not true. Just a way to disturb her :)

My sweet mistake

2009-08-13T20:59:00.002+08:00

I just have to stop all this nonsense because I know people couldn't care less about every typical problems human normally face. Even if they care, it can never last that long. Probably it is because after a point of time, they came into a conclusion and decided to let everything go with the flow which basically indicates that they couldn't be bothered with it. Again, the whole situation is back to square one. Why waste so much time on such a typical problem and in the end worsen the situation where you can enjoy your life while it last? I may not know where this post is getting from but all I know is that every single little thing you do, there will always be a hidden truth because things happen for a reason; be it happy or sad (:

It's better than nothing

2009-08-05T20:02:00.007+08:00

Before I revise my MIC mock test for tomorrow, I have something interesting and awesome news to share :D Maybe not really that awesome but it's just funny.

It's about this girl who looks as if she's eating because of her swollen cheek and also opening and closing her mouth constantly like a fish but actually she's not. She can't even talk properly because of her mouth which is senget to the one side. Even with this kind of situation, she is still stubborn! Still wants to eat chocolate. And that girl is none other than NUR SHAFIKA BTE JAFFAR!

Isn't she cute? AWWW.

I wonder if she's trying to look at her own cheek.

Btw, this is posted with IK4's consent :D

There's nowhere I'd rather be

2009-07-26T13:57:00.012+08:00

Friday night. Straight away after school, went to RP. Celebrated Rain's birthday and also Ignite.

I couldn't really sleep yesterday night. It was raining heavily and the whether was so cold that I feel like I was inside a refrigerator. I was having high fever and my temperature was 38.8 degrees. I felt so sick. My body was aching like hell and my dad asked me to bathe like 3 in the morning. And yes, I'm still sick :(

Spices, sugar and salt

2009-07-21T22:49:00.006+08:00

Racial Harmony is all about the fusion of each and every ethnic group that makes a one whole big family :D

I was supposed to wear the Chinese traditional clothe but it was kinda tight on my waist so I couldn't wear it. I wanted to wear cheong sam so badly. No matter how much the force she adds to bring it down, the costume still stays there. Wanted to wear the Punjabi suit but Winnie's kebaya was too tight on her. Hence I have to wear the kebaya instead. Both kebaya and cheongsam were Eleena's. Thank you for the costume (:

All those wearing and taking out of costume took 15 minutes of our practical class. Fortunately, our teacher is a very nice and kind person. As soon as we settled down, the camera man came and its funny how our teacher reacted. She was damn excited whereas the students were too tired to even get our butt off the chairs.

I didn't know that my size was about the same as Winnie. From head to toe. Heh heh.

After school, went to buy Thandar's birthday present. We couldn't find what we wanted to buy instead we bought other stuff. I bet the present we bought for her will last her for a few months :/

Head back to school and did CNP project. I was too tired to even think by then. Planned our role play and typed out our powerpoint and great. I'm done :D

And I should be sleeping by now if not I won't be able to wake up tomorrow and be on time to reach the bustop by 7.17am and 7 seconds to meet Firdaus. Okay, this is an inside joke anyway. :D

Slowly I took your words

2009-07-18T20:10:00.000+08:00

Saranghae.

I'm done with my spring cleaning finally! I can't study cause of being too lazy to even clean up my own room.

I think I'm going crazy sooner or later. Ahhh Ahhhh AHHHH??!! I feel like my life is all about project works and assignments since start of school. Pretty much last week actually I guess. Project work which have to be done but are not done yet. Not even touch the particular module. Assignments which were suppose to be completed during holidays will be due very very very very soon. I'm so so so dead right now.

CNP, communication in nursing practice is simply crap and I have essay to be done with Rosemarie. I can't even complete it even though we have to right about what happen during our clinical attachment. Also, a role play, which is still not ready since holiday.

Heard of a company named chocolate? That's what my group came out with. -.- We have to complete our business proposal by next week. How did I get such a teacher who doesn't even explain how the proposal looks like. Pathetic enough? Furthermore, maybe we need to go to one of the secondary school to act out our pw cause it has something to do with the students.

Psychology and Sociology is another pain in the ass. With the theories and perspectives, we need an article to relate it and show that we understand the module. Grr. However, it's still half way done.

My log book, report to be submitted by Tuesday. Nothing written about the clinical attachment. I NEED to write something in it but somehow I'm always lazy whenever I took out the book. So, I put it aside and did something else. How clever am I?

Enough of the bad news. Here's the good news, I'll be getting a LAPTOP soon! You can call me slow but whatever it is, I'll be having a laptop and its gonna be small(cute). Heh heh.

Now, I shall continue with my overloading assignments ):

Anything but ordinary

2009-07-12T02:04:00.002+08:00

Here's a sandal that i bought like finally. Straight after tuition, went to town with Dee. Cause I need to buy sandal.

Walked from Wisma to Taka, still no sandals. I mean there is but its too freaking expensive. With that money I think I can buy lots and lots of food. Talking about food, Dee got cheated by the curry puff lady. The lady asked whether Dee wanted chicken or mutton, and she said mutton. So she bought and ate the piece with no taste of mutton except for potatoes filling. Pathetic, I know. -.-

Continued our walk to Fareast. Quite cheesy for sandals though. Found one, price of 20 bucks, for a very very simple type. So nahh, next. A gold sandal and the price is quite reasonable but when I wear it and step on it, there's a height difference between one leg and the other. My right leg is longer and my left leg is shorter. Ok no, its not me but the sandal. Heh. I told the sales girl but she said both have the same height. (Korek mate tu baru tau.) But i really like it. But nevermind. Went to another shop, and found my baby (sorry i stepped on you). Its quite the same like the previous one, but it is even better and have a cheaper price.

After I'm done buying the sandal, we headed to Raffles City. Dee wanted to buy the polo shirt so badly but sadly there's no more stock left. Aiyaaaaa. In the end she didn't buy anything. Sad story.

Met Nunu in the MRT and went to Lot 1 roof top or whatever you call it, for a while and then to Dee's house.

When you're hungry, everything seems nice. Including this. :D

I've never promised there would be sunshine everyday

2009-07-11T02:52:00.002+08:00

If seasons changes, i guess moods does too. Perhaps its even faster. Yeah, and its called mood swings. :D

The whole day is spent in front of the computer watching videos. But I had tuition around night time. The first thing that shocked me when I entered Dee's room was the mask she wore. Worst still, I thought it was swine flu.

For once, I think I'm going insane with Korean band. Be it the girls or the guys. They are such a hot stuff. I just got to know that SS501 will be here in Singapore in December. This means that Kim Hyun Joong will be there too. SCREAMZXZXZ!

Hot Issues.
The lyrics follow the same trend like Wondergirl’s So Hot and Kara's Pretty Girl, which basically is a song about how pretty they think they are. But whatever it is they are pretty. Heh heh.

Also a HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO SHABRINA. Working in Zara with you was fun, filled with lots and lots of laughter though we lost their tags alot of times! Or even if the present with gave you is not what you like, still its the thought that counts! Heh. Have a nice day tomorrow ya! :D

Even if the sky is falling

2009-07-09T20:45:00.003+08:00

This is my second post of the day. I'm so bored of holiday since last week. And basically, I have nothing to do. So here's a video and a song for you people. Enjoy it if you like it or even if you don't like it.

Big Bang hot :D

Baby and Me :D
Finally I found something to kill my boredom. Yeahhh I'm gonna watch it now. Heh heh.

That's why we'll break through

2009-07-09T02:54:00.005+08:00

Now that I know its abit too late for an apology, I would really hope you will have a kind heart with no grudges and just put on a sincere smile. It’s as simple as that, I would definitely be impressed if you could. Because nothing else matters other than having myself feeling guilty about what happened lately.

Lost and confused.

It's just your doubt that binds you

2009-07-05T17:19:00.006+08:00

Another class outing to sentosa, which apparently quite a few came. However we still had great fun. Well, this is what we call bonding :D

My laughing pills, Syahz and Shab! Its been awhile since we met. They are missed (: Shab had an eye problem, can't open her eye due to the camera's flash. LOL.

And lastly, those are my favourite people. Went back to WS, purpse is to take our o lvl certificate but not the for carnival. Hoho. We didn't actually get to see most of the teachers. It's saturday anyway, probably they should be at home resting and sleeping. Then, we headed town after that.

Tomorrow is youth day. Sad Nasyita doesn't seems to know that. Heh. There's another week of holiday and I have yet to complete my FON and CNP projects and essays.

Gees, holidays are such a bore that I watched Boys Over Flowers 3 times :D

Weakness felt on my knees when you're around

2009-06-28T01:17:00.002+08:00

Lee Min Ho :D

The main actor named Gu Jun Pyo in the korean drama, Boys Over Flower.

Part of the excitement are missed

2009-06-26T23:15:00.004+08:00

FINALLY I'M HAVING HOLIDAYS! Too excited that I ended CA half an hour earlier.

Went out with Nasyita, hoping that the night market is already open but how pathetic, only the lights were on and not the stalls. So went to plaza to buy food cause she was hungry and I'm not (seemed strange somehow but I'm full, heh). Bought food AGAIN at sheng siong. The black and white whole are back, I guess? Or maybe I retired? Hahahah -.- And it doesn't stop there, headed back to plaza and get ice cream. Perut mawas.

Can you imagine 2 of your front teeth is gone? Cause I can't. Hahahaha.

My presence doesn't make any difference.

And here we go again

2009-06-25T23:24:00.003+08:00

Dee&Ika's 17th fabulous birthday!

Look at the faces. There's a story behind it. Hahaha.

Nurses!

The guy who wore nursing uniform to town :D

Wawa's not here :(

Those are what I've been doing for the past for weeks.

Today's attachment at community service was tiring. Standing up for like 5 hrs and do nothing. I can feel the great great pressure pressing on my feet. So, ended up talking and sitting on the patient's bed for the rest of the hours. Just another day of attachment and I'll be having my two weeks holiday!

Rushed and sweat all the way home just to catch Transformers which started at 5.45pm. Soon after the movie ended, stayed around at cc to watch Fir played takraw. I swear I don't understand the scores. Heh.

And tomorrow, going BP with the crazy woman who just flood my tagboard. And yes, I enjoy hiding and running away from those people. Haha.

What's left of everything that's gone?

2009-06-21T20:53:00.006+08:00

It is still undefined. Just observation alone is not enough. I'll just need a little bit of time. After all that happened, it stayed the same and it always stayed the same. It keeps coming back and it keeps hoping for more. It keeps waiting for more, still and I'll keep watching from afar.

Life's a beach was GREAT. Congrats to those hot bods who won. I met people who didn't actually meet me cause somehow I was hiding myself from being seen from those people. Instead they met my friends and not me. Hahah. I want more of that (:

One week of CA at Choa Chu Kang Polyclinic was exciting yet gross. Nearly fainted during one of the days. How am I going to become a nurse in future? Heh. Another week of CA and I can enjoy holidays :D

I'm running out of time

2009-06-13T23:43:00.002+08:00

Feelings are so numb, numb and numb. Because I'm unsure of those feelings of mine.

10June2009
Straight after AAP&NSL papers, the three of us went to celebrate Dee and Ika's birthday.

It was wonderful+great+fantastic+fabulous. Ika was the first one to be surprised. With her home clothes on even though we told her to get herself ready like 1 hr ago. Followed by Dee. Surprised her in front of her house door with brownie. The funny part was her immediate reaction: open the door, saw us, scream and slammed the door (as if she saw us as ghosts) and open the door again. Hah and she's being taped! :D

Surprises, blindfold, roller coaster, seoul garden, boyfriends, presents, camwhore and more camwhore were included too.

11June2009
Realised that both ezlink and student ID were missing. Pissed and very pissed. Accompanied by Dida to have the passport photo taken and quickly went to the service. Damn it, such a pisser, I didn't bring my IC. ARGHHH!

So head to JE Library to study with Dida. Last minutes notes. Didn't get to memorise actually. Eventually we talked and talked. LOL. Reached home, also didn't study. Was too sleepy actually. Heh heh. Ended up sleeping early.

12June2009
Where did I go? Nvm, I can't remember and I don't want to. (Because apparently I remembered what happen.) LOL.

And today, was also nothing too. I'm just tired and feels like sleeping now.
Yeah, I'll upload the pics some other time.

This is where I stand

2009-06-09T22:11:00.000+08:00

When will this come to an end? Because I'm sick and tired of playing your games.

Common test is this week. I've been slacking and not studying alot and really alot lately. For the tests that I've done, I only bother to read through and I know it is still not enough. I guess I just can't be bothered with it.

I have loads of things to be done which I don't feel like doing so but I still have to do it cause I will be dead if I don't do it. Sigh, it's just too complicated.

Okk I better start reading my notes for tmr paper before I feel like dying. DIE DIE DIE. Two more papers and I'm done!

And last but not least, someone's turning seventeen tmr!

I miss being SEVENTEEN -.- and I want to be SEVENTEEN forever!

Everything Is Still A Blur

2009-06-03T00:33:00.000+08:00

Mondays I sleep away. Tuesdays I lay awake. Wednesdays are the worst. Thursdays I reminisce. Friday I see your face and I can't breathe. Although the distance is daring, I sure know what it's like to be alone. I can't decide. I can't seem to make the right move. I can't predict. I can't see where its coming from. I can't seem to explain. One of us will break apart and walk the other way. But now there's no point turning back lets face the facts. Let me be the one.

The Walls Built Tumbled Down

2009-06-01T23:36:00.011+08:00

Somehow I wish you understand.

Straight after school went to meet Dee, Ika and Hidayat (extra hahaha). Its been so so so so long since we hang out. Alot of updates and alot of happenings happening lately. While they are having their holidays, I'm still stuck in school with common tests and clinical attachment! Maybe nolah, CA in polyclinics. So frustrating but i LOIKE. Hahaha.

Nas and Wawa missing :(

I can't make up my mind so I end up smiling.

Hidayat, the extra one. HAHAHA joking only.

And oh oh I saw a squirrel in NP! So cuteeeeeeeee!

It Stings Like A Spider

2009-05-30T23:08:00.003+08:00

Firstly, let me just clear things off before I start anything because I've created alot of confusion between me and myself and my heart and my mind. It's just too complicated that everything ended up to be nothing. Because of too much expectation that so happened to be unexpected. I'm sorry to those whom I've hurt earlier. I wouldn't want it to happen either. I'm not really taking everything for much more than it means. I didn't mean to avoid any of you. Because its just a matter of time that nobody now knows what they actually want from one another. And this includes me too.

Secondly, I wish money is not a problem. You know why.
Thirdly, my nursing dress looks huge on me. I have to wear it on Monday. Grr.
Forthly, LIKE FINALLY IKA UPDATED HER BLOG!
And now its 11plus, I have to study for my common test. Since I slept like a pig since morning, I should be very awake and start studying now.