Look at Wah Wah. Heh.
I miss them.
Woke up at early 6 this morning when my lesson (which I did pay attention for the first 30 minutes) actually starts at 3 in the afternoon. Yeah, what the hell am I up to? Heh. Insane enough? And guess how many times I went to the toilet? I keep drinking water and I'm still thirsty. I hate my medicine. Who knows how long will I need it. Grr.
I used to smile everywhere I go. I used to laugh even at the little little things. I used to do stupid things just to make people happy. I used to irritate people til they get irritated. I used to interrupt anything and everything all of a sudden. I used to walk freely as if the whole world is in my hands. I used to think that I'm a happy-go-lucky girl. I used to feel that I will always make it through every tough situation. I used to forget and leave everything behind just to stop the mind from wandering else where. I used to think that I won't get hurt even though if i did, a little bit of distraction helps. I used to be all this without forcing myself to do it. And just because I'm used to all this, everyone will get used to my reactions and its pretty obvious that they will definitely notice a slight change in me if I stop. I mean, I am still doing all this stuffs, but its not for me, its for them as long as they are happy and will not get the wrong idea thinking that they were the one at fault for transforming me into a totally different side of me. If you're confused, so am I, too tangled up inside.
I used to smile everywhere I go. I used to laugh even at the little little things. I used to do stupid things just to make people happy. I used to irritate people til they get irritated. I used to interrupt anything and everything all of a sudden. I used to walk freely as if the whole world is in my hands. I used to think that I'm a happy-go-lucky girl. I used to feel that I will always make it through every tough situation. I used to forget and leave everything behind just to stop the mind from wandering else where. I used to think that I won't get hurt even though if i did, a little bit of distraction helps. I used to be all this without forcing myself to do it. And just because I'm used to all this, everyone will get used to my reactions and its pretty obvious that they will definitely notice a slight change in me if I stop. I mean, I am still doing all this stuffs, but its not for me, its for them as long as they are happy and will not get the wrong idea thinking that they were the one at fault for transforming me into a totally different side of me. If you're confused, so am I, too tangled up inside.
All of this did stop the moment I entered into an environment with different people, different faces with different perspective of life and different point of view. I wish it never goes on and on and on cause I couldn't take it no more, not any longer. My stay is way too long. I'm tired. It feels like I'm stuck at the moment. I can't take a step backward nor forward. I'm way way behind track but I have to keep on going. Walking ahead, moving forward and chasing after what I need instead of what I want. That will be that.
Stop thinking its you.
Stop thinking its them.
Stop thinking its anyone.
Just stop thinking and blaming yourself.
Cause its no one else but me.