I wish that day didn't happen. What I wanted to say was a lie because it is just a game that happen to be a fact. It is like a maze that I purposely twisted and turned everything upside down, trying to make it as apparent as it may be but it is still vague. What did I just do? How can a game turn out to be so true?

I have a feeling that I will hit depression at any time. Bottling everything up inside me. I find it hard to trust anyone to let them know what I really and truly feel. Blogging alone does not really help even though I let go some of it here indirectly. I may be a person who seems cheerful and always smiling but whats left inside is undefined. A piece of me is still searching for the emergency exit to the way out of my situation. I'm just too tired to even feel like solving the problem. Instead I would prefer it to be forgotten. However, when I happen to remember it, it would actually replay inside my mind continuously. Things will eventually become worse. It is like a cycle of my memory except that the situation grew bigger each time. Oh well, what's new?

I never have an intention of hurting anyone. I do not understand why am I suppose to inform everything I did at every point of time. I have a life too. It is my life and that is how I want it to be led. I'm not trying to be demanding. Everyone have their own way of living. There was one time I completely change for someone and let me say this, it sucks. It totally do. By the end of the day, you will lose out and may not know where you're actually standing. Because you have no idea what is the purpose for doing it. So, why waste your time and life following what people want you to be like? For the past 17 years of my life, I can never figure out why am I being like this. It so happen that my instinct says that I am just what I am. Like it or not, accept me for what and who I am. I am just being myself.

Tomorrow is my first paper and I am so nervous. Grr. I better revise again. Good luck to those having exams :)

I wish that day didn't happen. What I wanted to say was a lie because it is just a game that happen to be a fact. It is like a maze that I purposely twisted and turned everything upside down, trying to make it as apparent as it may be but it is still vague. What did I just do? How can a game turn out to be so true?

I have a feeling that I will hit depression at any time. Bottling everything up inside me. I find it hard to trust anyone to let them know what I really and truly feel. Blogging alone does not really help even though I let go some of it here indirectly. I may be a person who seems cheerful and always smiling but whats left inside is undefined. A piece of me is still searching for the emergency exit to the way out of my situation. I'm just too tired to even feel like solving the problem. Instead I would prefer it to be forgotten. However, when I happen to remember it, it would actually replay inside my mind continuously. Things will eventually become worse. It is like a cycle of my memory except that the situation grew bigger each time. Oh well, what's new?

I never have an intention of hurting anyone. I do not understand why am I suppose to inform everything I did at every point of time. I have a life too. It is my life and that is how I want it to be led. I'm not trying to be demanding. Everyone have their own way of living. There was one time I completely change for someone and let me say this, it sucks. It totally do. By the end of the day, you will lose out and may not know where you're actually standing. Because you have no idea what is the purpose for doing it. So, why waste your time and life following what people want you to be like? For the past 17 years of my life, I can never figure out why am I being like this. It so happen that my instinct says that I am just what I am. Like it or not, accept me for what and who I am. I am just being myself.

Tomorrow is my first paper and I am so nervous. Grr. I better revise again. Good luck to those having exams :)